Trusting God When You Find You Have More to Lose

‍God gives great gifts to His kids. Like marriage. Children. Houses. Cash. When you realize one of these has become an idol, what then? In this article, part of a series discussing barriers to serving in mission, a mission mobilizer writes about the struggle to trust God with her marriage.

‍The summer before my sophomore year of college, shortly after I became a believer, I had so much zeal and love for Jesus that I couldn’t think of anything better to do with my life than take the good news to those who have no chance to hear it. I counted the cost of following Christ to the ends of the earth and was eager to go to the field soon after graduation.

I also deeply desired to be married and take this adventure with a godly husband by my side, one who desired to make Jesus known among the nations. God provided. We were married in October of our senior year. We were ready to serve the Lord—together!

And then, suddenly, I wasn’t. Not anymore.

“My desire to go to the mission field was shaken simply because the cost had gone up.”

What If Something Happened to Him?

Worrisome thoughts I hadn’t previously considered now planted seeds of doubt in my heart.

• What if something happened to one of us when we were living overseas?
• What good things at home might we miss out on if we went to the field?

The gift of our marriage became an idol I clung to and was afraid to lose. I knew God loves to give His children good gifts, but the way I was living my life suggested I actually saw Him as a God who wanted to take away His good gifts and leave me to suffer. My desire to go to the mission field was shaken simply because the cost had gone up. I now had more to lose.

The Lord used our marriage to show me that deep down in my heart I was only ever willing to give up so much. I was not as brave or zealous or in awe of God as I thought!

But God met me there. In love, He reminded me of His goodness, bringing healing where I didn’t know I needed it. I learned to trust that He really does love to give us good gifts. If He were ever to take them away, He would give us the grace and strength we need.

In what area is God asking you to count the cost and trust Him?

Are there gifts from God you might be fearful to give up or afraid He might take away? If so, let me encourage you: He is always good. He is worthy of it all. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. – Luke 12:32

We have a dedicated team of mission mentors whose heart is to listen to your story, help you discern where God is leading you and pray with you in your next steps.

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