Counting the Cost

We’ve talked about reasons to get involved in missions in a new way and questions to consider as you narrow down your options. However, finding a good fit doesn’t mean cross-cultural ministry will be easy. Even Mike Harris’s enthusiasm for life in West Africa tempered a bit when he found himself butting heads with his son and struggling to communicate with everyone else.

The Church has already been working on the Great Commission for 2,000 years, sometimes with more diligence and effectiveness than others. The fact that we aren’t finished yet is due to a combination of factors, including the sheer scale of the task. If you’ve ever walked the streets of Delhi or Dhaka, you know what I’m talking about. The world is both enormous and enormously complex. Many unreached people groups live in difficult places to get to, speak hard languages to learn, and live under the authority of governments and religious systems that don’t welcome disruption.

Taking the gospel to the nations, and especially to unreached peoples, requires missionaries to make sacrifices. First Corinthians 16:9 serves as an anchoring passage for me: “A great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me” (emphasis added). Opportunity and opposition invariably go together. Let’s explore some of the challenges that can discourage us from going or hinder us from staying.

Charlotte is a single woman preparing to serve in Southern Europe. “I didn’t have a family to give up,” she says, “so that wasn’t as huge. Instead, it was my house, and my job, and my security.” Charlotte’s church recommended she keep her house and rent it out, but she worried one bad tenant could spell financial disaster. She decided to sell, but the hassle of clearing out all her stuff and staging the house felt overwhelming. She prayed, “God, I’m so tired. How do I get rid of all this? Is it worth it?”

“All my little ducks were lined up in a row. I had a steady income, steady insurance, the steady dentist, the doctors, the hairstylist. Now, not only do I not know where all my ducks are, the ones I see aren’t listening.”
Charlotte, at age 58, preparing to serve in Southern Europe

The Lord answered Charlotte at a missionary training program when she met someone whose parents wanted to move to her area. Within two weeks, they bought her house at full price and kept her furniture. “God literally brought them to my doorstep,” she says. Charlotte’s real estate attorney waived his fees for both parties because she was going into missions, and the buyers allowed her to stay in the house until her departure to Europe. It was a reminder that God doesn’t always reveal His provision until we take a step of faith. Charlotte’s scariest obstacle became one of her biggest blessings.

God doesn’t provide for everyone in the same way, but He’ll be as faithful to you as He was to Charlotte and so many others. I appreciate the saying attributed to actress Dorothy Bernard, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers!” Don’t let fear control your decisions. Instead, let it drive you to prayer and to community.

The Physical

One of the most practical fears of missionary life is the physical risk. The names of some countries carry connotations of violence, terrorism, war, or disease. The truth, of course, is much more nuanced. Danger is often sensationalized in the news, intentionally or not. Televised unrest might be limited to specific parts of a country, or even specific neighborhoods. I’ve actually met many people overseas who consider it unsafe to visit America. “There are so many guns and so much crime,” they worry. And they have a point.

“I really don’t like the idea of slowly dying of something. I’d rather be hit by a bus.”
Phil, at age 72, serving in South Asia for seven years and counting

Going into overseas ministry does not inevitably mean moving from safety to danger. Natural disasters, traffic accidents, and crime can happen anywhere, including the seeming safe havens of small-town America. However, in some places, Westerners are targets for crime, and medical care may be less available or less effective. Many nations lack the resources to effectively respond to a disaster. A negative event can also have a more severe effect on a missionary living in a foreign land than the same situation at home. Our lack of language and cultural understanding makes us vulnerable and limits our ability to problem-solve.

Don’t dismiss your fears or other people’s concern for your safety. They might be legitimate. But don’t let fear control you. For example, Betty’s team leaders didn’t consider it wise for her to live as the only foreigner in a remote Central Asian valley. She accepted the limitation, but she didn’t give up on the ministry. Instead, she adapted her approach, living as close as she could and making frequent visits.

We can’t avoid every risk, but we can mitigate many of them if we approach them with faith and good information. As you narrow down your options of places to serve, ask people who live there about what worries you. You might discover there’s nothing to fear. Not all mosquitos carry dengue. Many ministry locations actually come with built-in health benefits. Rural villages can facilitate a healthy lifestyle of walking and eating fresh fruits and vegetables. Some major cities (Chiang Mai, Singapore, etc.) offer high-quality medical care at dramatically lower costs than the U.S. Maybe wearing a certain type of clothing will reduce your risk of pickpocketing. Perhaps a nurse on the team can help you navigate the medical system. Using a ride-sharing service might reduce the risk of a traffic accident.

My point is, you won’t know until you ask. In all likelihood, you’ll go to a place where a missionary team already serves. Experienced people can help you plan for whatever safety concerns are relevant for your new context. Don’t waste time and energy on fears you haven’t grounded first in faith, and then in fact.

Key question: How can you find accurate information about the aspects of cross-cultural life that concern you?

The Financial

While retirement provides many people with increased financial freedom, missionary life can be expensive. You might have serious sticker shock when you first see a budget, like Frank and Lynn Distler did for East Asia. While daily cost of living is relatively low in many unreached areas, international medical insurance, language classes, and visa fees add up quickly. In many cases, you’ll also be operating on a fixed income and legally restricted from picking up a side job. Everyone’s financial situation is different, but moving overseas, even for a few years, requires some creativity.

Making an international move also requires big financial decisions. If you own a home, do you sell it? If so, do you get rid of all your possessions? If not, how will you manage lawn care, repairs, and rental contracts from the other side of the world? Young people may have an advantage here—they haven’t had as much time to fill up a house with memorabilia! Financial decisions also carry more weight the older we get. Our savings don’t have as much time to bounce back from mistakes.

“If you have a passion to reach out, you have to be open to sacrifice.”
Ayad, at age 62, serving Arabs in North America for two years and counting

Make a list of your financial concerns and ask God to provide someone to help you with each one. Maybe a real estate agent in your church can offer advice about selling versus renting your house. Your prospective teammates may have tips for long-distance banking. Financial management is much easier now with banking apps and electronic signatures. Your sending agency might be able to recommend an accountant familiar with international tax law. A financial advisor can explain how living overseas (or in another state) will affect your taxes. Most sending agencies require missionaries to have an updated will and power of attorney, but if your finances are complicated, you may have to arrange more than that. Find out what you can manage remotely and what authority you need to delegate. It’s better to ask questions early and avoid spending your last few weeks at home in a flurry of paperwork. Take heart that all of these financial concerns have solutions. You have a lot to figure out, but you’re in good company.

Traditionally, most missionaries cover their expenses through donations from churches and individuals. The process is commonly known as “raising support.” If you start out in retirement, you may be able to cover some or all of your own expenses without raising money. That can get you to the field faster and provide more flexibility. If you can fund your own way, great, but it’s not the only way to go. In fact, I believe raising at least part of your support has many benefits.

We often underestimate the connection between financial giving and cross-cultural missions. In the Epistles and in Acts, Paul regularly invites people to participate with him in ministry through various ways, including prayer and funding. The whole book of Philippians is a thank-you letter to donors. Paul didn’t consider financial need a hindrance. He saw it as an opportunity for churches to bless him and experience God’s blessing (Philippians 4:14-19), helping to keep the whole ministry ecosystem healthy.

So, if you don’t have retirement income to self-fund your adventure overseas, don’t worry. God has provided for tens of thousands of missionaries through the generosity of His people, and He can do the same for you. Raising funds may feel daunting, but it can be a real blessing as people who care about you validate your ministry through their gifts. It’s an opportunity to stretch your faith, meet some new people, and tell your story. If you do have the option of covering your own expenses, I encourage you to consider raising at least part of the funds anyway to include others in your process and in your ministry. Not everyone gets to go. If you’re one of the privileged few who do, you can take others with you vicariously through your support team.

“Living by faith instead of sight—that’s harder to do than to say.”
Jacqulyn, at age 67, preparing to serve in Central America

You won’t regret the relationships or the sense of partnership with people who invest in your work, not only through prayer, but also through their bank accounts. Most importantly, your heavenly Father knows what you need. His provision may not come in the form you expect or prefer, but He will not leave you alone. Hopefully, your friends, family, and home church won’t either.

Key question: Are you ready to depend on the Lord and on His people for provision, no matter the ratio of fundraising and self-funding you choose?

The Family

A lot of people who are middle-aged and up have responsibilities to three generations: their parents, adult children, and grandchildren. We saw that in Frank and Lynn’s story as they wrestled with the sacrifice of leaving both their kids and their moms. Living in Asia made them less available to respond to a crisis or drop by for dinner. Grandchildren grow up quickly, and if we miss milestones, we can’t get them back. Friendships and church relationships can be another area of loss when we move away. People change, and missionary life changes us. We may never quite fit back into our same social networks.

Does global missions require us to sacrifice our relationships with friends and family? To some extent, yes. And it’s not just the “goers” who make sacrifices. Our friends and families pay a cost as well. When a missionary to East Africa first told her children she planned to move overseas in retirement, her son-in-law insisted it would destroy her relationship with her grandsons. It didn’t—with technology and a lot of effort, she maintains a connection—but the family dynamic was still strained.

One couple struggled with the idea of giving up their large home, the gathering place for their whole extended family, when they moved to Southeast Asia. Here’s how they looked at it:

The trade-off was, should we keep working jobs that felt meaningless eternally just so we could have a big house and a swimming pool for our kids and grandkids? Or would we give that up and go do something we felt made a difference? It’s sanctifying because we want to do things for our family financially that we’re not really able to do because we’re not making what we were at one point. It humbles us, but it also helps us recognize what’s important.

These are difficult decisions, and only the Holy Spirit knows the right answers to each situation. Hard choices and prayerful sacrifices will be necessary, but there are associated rewards and ways to minimize the losses. A woman who serves Afghan refugees in the U.S. celebrates the influence of her ministry on her own family. “They get to meet and watch me pour into people from a completely different culture,” she says. “What a privilege that my grandchildren are experiencing global missions right here in my own home!”

What relational losses might you realistically experience if you pursue global missions for the next chapter of life? If you live near your kids, how ready are they for you to move away? If you already have to fly to visit your grandchildren, how much harder would it be to fly farther?

When Thomas first considered ministry in Sub-Saharan Africa, he believed he would have to sacrifice family time. As he thought about it more, however, he realized he normally only sees his children and grandchildren twice a year. He arranged with the team he plans to join that he will come home from Africa each year to spend time with his family. He also anticipates his kids and their families may be able to visit and experience his life on the other side of the world. In between, they will rely on video calls to keep in touch. With those measures in place, the separation doesn’t feel as extreme.

For some people, a lack of family connections makes missions scary. Jacqulyn has a tenuous connection with her granddaughters because of a rift with her daughter. While she trusts God to care for her family, in some ways, moving away feels like giving up on reconciliation.

Charlotte describes herself as “uniquely free.” She doesn’t have a husband or children and her parents are no longer living. But at the same time, without family staying behind, she has no one to come back to, no permanent address, and no one to leave things with. As she prayed about what to do with family photo albums and keepsakes, the Lord brought a nephew back into her life who offered to preserve those memories. While none of us intends to be materialistic, letting go of material possessions can be tough, especially when they carry a lot of memories.

Whether you have family to say goodbye to or not, leaving for the unknown is intimidating. Take comfort in the fact that all missionaries make relational sacrifices, no matter their age. Single missionaries leave their entire family and friendship networks behind when they move abroad for the first time. Almost every missionary child has grandparents who miss them. Many families transition children back to their home countries for college and then learn to live apart. Almost every missionary over 40 thinks about how they will care for their parents as they age. Each situation is different, but much of the emotion is the same. Goodbyes are hard for everyone.

“It sounds shallow, but the challenge is real. I had photos dating to the 1800s. That’s my family history. That’s Mom in those mixing bowls.”
Charlotte, at age 58, preparing to serve in Southern Europe

Here’s another comfort—community is a renewable resource. For Frank and Lynn, living on the other side of the world from their grandbabies was difficult, but the swarm of kids who greeted them with hugs every week soothed some of the sting. A woman named Anita says 200 Southeast Asian children call her “Granita.” Her Brazilian teammates formally asked her to be a grandmother to their family after their own parents passed away.

Key question: What relational losses might you realistically experience if you pursue global missions in the next chapter of life?

The Elefante in the Room

As we saw in the Distlers’ story from East Asia, communicating in the local language is a key aspect of feeling at home. A lot of us have absorbed the idea that language learning is for the young. Most people who start studying a language later in life don’t reach a high proficiency level. Is that because they can’t, or due to other factors?

According to experts on the topic, the biggest hindrance to adult language learners is “the belief that one is too old to learn a foreign language.”¹⁴ In reality, adults have some advantages over children when it comes to learning languages, and those advantages increase with age. We learn new concepts by connecting them to what we already know. As educated, literate adults with decades of life experience, we are well-prepared to integrate new vocabulary and grammatical concepts. You have “more tools in your toolbox” now than you did in your 20s.¹⁵
You’re also more likely to pace yourself appropriately. As a team leader in Central Asia observed, “Slow and smooth language learning is better than fast and emotional burnout. Older adults set a healthy and stable tone in a team.”

Whatever you may have heard, if you examine the research, “For adult foreign language learners, the results are clear enough. Although it may not be easy to achieve a native-like mastery of the sounds of a language, this does not affect the ability to approach native-like mastery of other aspects of the language, such as grammar.”¹⁶ If we’re officially well-equipped to learn language, why do older adults find it so difficult, and often more difficult than when we were younger?

We’ve already mentioned one key reason: expectations. If we believe we’ll be bad at learning a language or have had a bad experience (in a high school class, for example), we might fall victim to a self-fulfilling prophecy.¹⁷

Expectations also influence our work ethic. I often hear certain languages described as “easy.” While that’s probably meant as encouragement, learning a new language is always hard, and it is not kind, helpful, or accurate to tell a struggling learner they’re failing at something easy. On the other hand, if someone is making good progress through steady work, they may start putting in less effort on the assumption it should feel easy. A lot of people don’t become proficient in a language either because they struggle and despair, or because they become satisfied with a basic conversational level and stop trying to improve.

Another reason learning languages becomes more challenging later in life is that most schools and resources are geared toward younger learners. Beginner curricula often emphasize pronunciation and rote memorization of vocabulary, two areas where older adults face a disadvantage compared to younger peers. Fortunately, we have access to many language-learning tools and resources now. With intentionality and good coaching, you can build a program that works for you.

“I tell every language learner of any age, ‘God designed our brains to do it. He invented languages, and He always equips us to do what He calls us to do. It’s about time on task and about motivation to try.’”
Anita, at age 79, serving in Southeast Asia for 10 years and counting

You are capable of learning another language if you put in the time and effort and equip yourself with good resources and support. For some of you, that’s probably a relief. Others might be disappointed I’m discounting what feels like an automatic exemption: older people can’t—and therefore don’t have to—learn languages. To be clear, I don’t believe everyone should spend years in full-time language study. The Harrises in West Africa made the investment and are glad for it. The Distlers didn’t, and still had a significant ministry in East Asia. You might very well contribute more to the Great Commission by working in English. My point is that it’s a decision to make together with your ministry team, factoring in your role and living arrangements. Don’t let fears, rumors, or a bad experience convince you it’s not an option. Language study is a form of ministry. Recognizing this can help relieve some of the pressure and provide a sense of joy in the process, no matter how long it may take.

While it might feel counter-intuitive the first time you open a textbook to a page of what appear to be indecipherable squiggles, the language-learning process itself has many benefits. Learning a new language is one of the best ways to cultivate humility and dependence on the Lord. Learning a language late in life is also one of the best ways to demonstrate humility and dependence on the Lord. In many cultures, an older person humbling themselves to speak like a child is a powerful example of a servant heart, especially if they could get away with using English. People will notice Christlikeness in you, even if they don’t recognize it as such, and even if your participles dangle or your subjects and verbs don’t agree. The sanctifying effect of language learning is good for our souls and good for our testimonies.

A basic level of language also helps you feel less intimidated and more at home. Even if you love your new location, if you can’t interact with people and manage everyday transactions, you will experience a jolt of stress every time the phone rings or you step out your front door. Navigating common tasks and interactions is a realistic goal for most people in most languages. A higher goal is to build cross-cultural friendships. Being able to listen to someone’s story in their own language is a precious gift.

“Don’t give in easily. Don’t let setbacks rob you of the rewards you will have by persevering through.”
Ingrid, at age 57, serving in Western Europe for three years and counting

Even if you don’t aspire to high proficiency in the language, spending some time on the basics will help you understand not just your new neighbors’ words, but also their culture. Body language and social cues are a huge part of communication and impact how local people perceive you. You might gain friends you enjoy for the rest of your life just by being friendly in a culturally acceptable way. That’s well worth a few months of dedicated study and some embarrassing faux pas. And keep in mind that learning a language can be your main ministry, at least initially. It’s not only a means to an end.

Denise, who moved to Southeast Asia at age 50, sums up what makes language learning worthwhile this way: “It’s how you show love and respect.” For those of us with ministry priorities, relationship is the key to everything. Bora and her husband studied a minority language in the Middle East in their 40s. After nearly three years of diligent study, Bora summed up the experience this way:

As a result of growing in language, the Lord has given us deep relationships and the ability to have spiritual conversations, read and study the Bible, and pray with our friends. What seemed stressful and difficult has become more and more comfortable for us. In our language learning, we have shown our friends that they, as a people who have experienced so much oppression and suffering, matter, and we love them. I write this with tears. God answered a prayer I thought might be impossible at my age and life stage. We give glory to Him.

A high level of language proficiency is not always necessary, but connecting with people is an essential aspect of any ministry. Communicating love and respect is a good baseline goal, whatever that means in your specific context.

We often speak about learning a language as if it’s an all-or-nothing proposition. We ask someone if they speak a language and expect a yes-or-no answer. However, the truth is much more complex. If you go anywhere overseas or work cross-culturally in your home country, you will need to learn some language. The question is how much and how fast.

For example, Ingrid dove into ministry, apartment hunting, and language school all at once in Western Europe, and felt completely overwhelmed. So, she switched to a private tutor and a slower pace. Janet is headed to the Middle East to do administrative work, primarily with English-speaking colleagues. She has set a goal of being able to shop at a neighborhood grocery store in Arabic. Granita has lived in Southeast Asia for more than a decade and still uses an app to study vocabulary every day. She speaks the national language well but finds some types of ministry difficult because she doesn’t also speak the local tribal language. Miriam, who ministers to refugees in the U.S., says, “I can be really friendly in several languages. It’s enough to break the barrier and to love on them, and to have them realize I’m familiar with their culture.” Have each of these people learned a language? Yes, somewhat, to varying degrees.

Speaking very generally, reaching a high proficiency in a foreign language usually requires about 1,500 hours of focused study over 18-24 months.¹⁸ Most people reach a basic friendship level after six months of full-time effort. However, full-time study is not necessarily your only option. You might study intensively for a few weeks and then back off to make time for other activities. Maybe a one-week intensive each month would work with your schedule. If you need a baseline to start from, consider committing 25% of your total ministry time overseas to language study. For example, if you expect to spend 8-10 years abroad, it might be worth investing 2 years in a full-time program. If you set out on a two-year stint, you could devote three months to full-time study and then continue just in the mornings for another six months.

However you go about learning the language, be sure you can articulate your reasoning to others and to yourself. Don’t do more out of guilt or less out of fear. Instead, make an informed choice by asking your sending agency and prospective team questions like these:

• Who do you think I’ll interact with most of the time?
• How much study would it take for me to be independent in daily life (shopping, transportation, etc.)?
• What will my relationships with locals be like?
• How will people react to me if I don’t speak their language? How will they react if I do?
• How do most missionaries in this area learn language?
• What resources are available if I need extra help?

Based on what you learn, your ministry and work priorities, and your timeframe, make a plan with your receiving team for how you will start studying the language. Then hold that plan loosely. One of the few unchangeable facts about global missions is that circumstances change.

If a limited timeframe, a lack of resources, business or ministry responsibilities, or a whole host of other factors slow your language progress to a grind, ask for help, persevere, and give yourself grace. Recognize, too, age is one of many factors that make language learning daunting. Your younger teammates have their own challenges and may envy your undistracted study time. I don’t recommend telling a sleep-deprived new dad, a mom homeschooling four grade levels, or a single person with dyslexia that learning a language is easier for them because they’re young. Do what you believe most honors the Lord and encourage your teammates to do the same.

“If we’re able to help more church planters be more effective, we as non-Arabic-speaking people can make some difference with the gospel, and that has rippling effects for generations.”
Sam, at age 63, preparing to serve in the Middle East

Key questions: Are you open to learning a new language to the level that makes sense for your ministry? Are you willing to ask for help when you need it?

What Makes It Worth It

Laure felt so intimidated and out of place at an orientation program for new missionaries that she decided to sneak out at the first opportunity. Maybe missions wasn’t really for her. But during the morning coffee break, a staff member interrupted her planned exit. She said, “I read your bio, and I want to introduce you to a ministry based in the U.S.” That’s how Laure not only regained her nerve, but also found her future team.

Don’t underestimate the difficult aspects of global missions as an older adult, but don’t overestimate them either. There’s no need to assume you can’t do something hard (learn a language, raise funds, etc.), especially if you haven’t tried. Scripture is clear that God calls His people to do difficult things, and Jesus describes hardship as normal (John 16:33). A lot of people who don’t have access to the gospel live in unappealing places (to us, at least!). Your missions journey might include some scary moments and some deep sacrifices, but it’s not all gloom and doom. Even in challenging contexts, He provides perks. Here are a few benefits to look forward to:

Special relationships with both teammates and local people. Jesus commended His followers who make relational sacrifices: “Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19:29). New friendships don’t cancel out the ones we miss, but they do enrich our lives. Heart-level cross-cultural relationships are one of the greatest blessings of missionary life.

Fulfillment and fruitfulness. You might not see a lot of direct spiritual fruit, but investing in people and in God’s kingdom still leaves a God-glorifying legacy. That doesn’t guarantee you’ll be recognized or celebrated, but you can say with the Apostle Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness” (2 Timothy 4:7-8).

Partnership. If you are married, global missions provides an opportunity to serve together. Many couples live largely separate lives, whether it’s in the home and outside the home or in their individual careers. Ministering together as a team is a unique joy.

Enrichment, both in your faith as you stretch in new ways and in general life as you experience more cultures, languages, and landscapes.

Setting an example of faithfulness in your family and church. Your community will experience some of these same blessings as they send you out and support you in prayer.

God allows and uses painful events in our lives and ministries, but He also gives us gifts to enjoy as we serve Him. Missions benefits our families, our friends, and our churches. And it benefits God’s people in difficult environments whom He loves, including other missionaries, local believers, and the lost. Finally, global missions pleases God. Jesus said to His disciples, “As the Father has sent me, I am sending you” (John 20:21). Missions can take us into the sacrifices Jesus made on our behalf and draw us close to Him. Paul reminds us that “if we are to share [Christ’s] glory, we must also share his suffering” (Romans 8:17). It is a blessing to feel our lives aligned with His redemptive purposes. At the very least, the rough times make for great stories!

If you step out in faith toward the unreached, no matter what happens, you won’t be shortchanged by God. He always blesses and rewards faith. Rest assured, you can trust God with your availability, even if it feels uncomfortable at the beginning (or middle, or end!). Joining Christ in His mission to make the gospel known fully aligns with God’s plan, revealed in His Word. Be confident that as you exercise faith and step into an arena that requires vulnerability and some degree of sacrifice, an eternal reward awaits you. You might come out of the experience poorer financially, but you’ll be far richer for eternity. The angels celebrate the redemption of every sinner (Luke 15:10). I imagine there’s a little extra confetti when someone prays for the first time in a language God has never been worshiped in. What a privilege to be a tiny part of such a story!

Key questions: Do you believe global missions is worth the cost? If so, are you prepared to make the sacrifices?